11 April 2014
734
R. Linda:
At work, the powers that be were offering us discounts on our health insurance premiums if we'd get off our lazy butts and exercise more. Walking was suggested as an easy form of getting healthy and if you decided you want to give it a go, a free pedometer is yours to use and it will monitor directly to the people in charge of overseeing your new healthy lifestyle, thus discounted premiums.
Sounds great doesn't it? Well, with three kiddos any new way to save money is usually given a try and so I signed up. Yes, I did! I got me a pedometer and hooked it on me belt and sat me lazy butt back down.
As I did me work me mobile was buzzing with a Tweet. It said: Gabriel O'Sullivan welcome to Discount Dollars For Your Health Insurance! You've had your pedometer for an hour and haven't made a move. Don't you think it's about time you got up and took a short walk around the office to re-energise?
Well, no, no I did not think I needed to re-energise, I thought I should be doing me work. So I ignored the Tweet and went back to me proofing. It was not more than 20 minutes later I get another Tweet saying nearly the same thing and again I ignored it. I had a deadline to meet. But that did not seem to matter to the discount dollar people, they wanted me arse up and they wanted me walking NOW. I finally gave up and took a stroll around the office. Matter of fact, I was pissed off so I went to the coffee machine, got me a cup of joe and strolled around the lounge area until I was done. Then I went back to me work.
I finally learned that the Tweets go to an automated system if you are 20 minutes immobile. I couldn't get it to turn off. I finally caved and every 20 minutes I took a stroll while reading my copy, much like walking and texting, a very dangerous business. I wondered I wouldn't get fired for loafing around the office complex like I had nothing to do but walk about like I'd never seen the place before. I tell ya!
So I've had this stupid thing with me for two weeks. I walk when I can and when I can't I hook it to Miss Jao's purse and let her walk around. I know that is cheating but it's better than being Tweeted every 20 minutes. Yes, the discount dollar people have found a way to get through to me whether I want them to or not!
But the ultimate shock happened to the discount dollar people just last night. I had gone to bed and put the pedometer on me nightstand as I usually do and was in blissful dreamland when suddenly me phone started vibrating on the nightstand and woke me up. I picked it up to see who was calling me and I discovered it was a Tweet from the discount dollar people. It said: Hey GREAT GABE you are up and have walked 600 yards! We are so proud of you, keep up the good work!"
At first, I was annoyed these twits would be awakening me at 3:30 a.m. with a Tweet when I realised something odd, I had been asleep, I hadn't walked 600 yards and if I did it would be in me sleep. Then it hit me did I actually do that and put the pedometer on out of force of habit? I reached for the stupid thing but it wasn't there. I put the searchlight on me phone on, so as not to wake the wife who had grumbled through the phone vibrating its way off the nightstand. There was no pedometer on the table, on the bed, on the floor, or on me! I had no clue and I thought I'd dropped it behind the table but hey I was tired I was going back to sleep and would look in the morning.
But I didn't get back to sleep, three more times I got TWEETS! Telling me what a fantastic job I was doing walking off a sleepless night. I was livid. Finally, I took meself downstairs because dawn's light was breaking, and I was not going to get anymore sleep and I knew it and I did not want to disturb the sleeping wife anymore than I had with the phone vibrating across the table for the Tweets.
I got down into the living room thinking to throw meself on the couch and try to get some shuteye, and it was then I noticed something. Mr. Kits was running around like he had something on him he couldn't get off and he was struggling. He'd throw himself down and with his hind legs go scratching violently at his collar and then, he'd jump up and run around the downstairs and over the hassock and throw himself down and do the kicking at his collar.
I couldn't take the antics so I caught hold of him and what did I discover? Stupid had knocked the pedometer off me nightstand and cuffed it out the door into the hallway where it fell down the stairs to the first floor and his rolling around playing with it, got it caught or hooked on his collar and thus the 600 yards in less than five minutes!
This only gave me ideas. So on the weekends when I don't feel like walking two miles, I hook it on the dogs collar and send her loose to run. Yup, the Tweets are glowing and the premium is coming down. Doesn't get any better than that!
Gabe
Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
At work, the powers that be were offering us discounts on our health insurance premiums if we'd get off our lazy butts and exercise more. Walking was suggested as an easy form of getting healthy and if you decided you want to give it a go, a free pedometer is yours to use and it will monitor directly to the people in charge of overseeing your new healthy lifestyle, thus discounted premiums.
Sounds great doesn't it? Well, with three kiddos any new way to save money is usually given a try and so I signed up. Yes, I did! I got me a pedometer and hooked it on me belt and sat me lazy butt back down.
As I did me work me mobile was buzzing with a Tweet. It said: Gabriel O'Sullivan welcome to Discount Dollars For Your Health Insurance! You've had your pedometer for an hour and haven't made a move. Don't you think it's about time you got up and took a short walk around the office to re-energise?
Well, no, no I did not think I needed to re-energise, I thought I should be doing me work. So I ignored the Tweet and went back to me proofing. It was not more than 20 minutes later I get another Tweet saying nearly the same thing and again I ignored it. I had a deadline to meet. But that did not seem to matter to the discount dollar people, they wanted me arse up and they wanted me walking NOW. I finally gave up and took a stroll around the office. Matter of fact, I was pissed off so I went to the coffee machine, got me a cup of joe and strolled around the lounge area until I was done. Then I went back to me work.
I finally learned that the Tweets go to an automated system if you are 20 minutes immobile. I couldn't get it to turn off. I finally caved and every 20 minutes I took a stroll while reading my copy, much like walking and texting, a very dangerous business. I wondered I wouldn't get fired for loafing around the office complex like I had nothing to do but walk about like I'd never seen the place before. I tell ya!
So I've had this stupid thing with me for two weeks. I walk when I can and when I can't I hook it to Miss Jao's purse and let her walk around. I know that is cheating but it's better than being Tweeted every 20 minutes. Yes, the discount dollar people have found a way to get through to me whether I want them to or not!
But the ultimate shock happened to the discount dollar people just last night. I had gone to bed and put the pedometer on me nightstand as I usually do and was in blissful dreamland when suddenly me phone started vibrating on the nightstand and woke me up. I picked it up to see who was calling me and I discovered it was a Tweet from the discount dollar people. It said: Hey GREAT GABE you are up and have walked 600 yards! We are so proud of you, keep up the good work!"
At first, I was annoyed these twits would be awakening me at 3:30 a.m. with a Tweet when I realised something odd, I had been asleep, I hadn't walked 600 yards and if I did it would be in me sleep. Then it hit me did I actually do that and put the pedometer on out of force of habit? I reached for the stupid thing but it wasn't there. I put the searchlight on me phone on, so as not to wake the wife who had grumbled through the phone vibrating its way off the nightstand. There was no pedometer on the table, on the bed, on the floor, or on me! I had no clue and I thought I'd dropped it behind the table but hey I was tired I was going back to sleep and would look in the morning.
But I didn't get back to sleep, three more times I got TWEETS! Telling me what a fantastic job I was doing walking off a sleepless night. I was livid. Finally, I took meself downstairs because dawn's light was breaking, and I was not going to get anymore sleep and I knew it and I did not want to disturb the sleeping wife anymore than I had with the phone vibrating across the table for the Tweets.
I got down into the living room thinking to throw meself on the couch and try to get some shuteye, and it was then I noticed something. Mr. Kits was running around like he had something on him he couldn't get off and he was struggling. He'd throw himself down and with his hind legs go scratching violently at his collar and then, he'd jump up and run around the downstairs and over the hassock and throw himself down and do the kicking at his collar.
I couldn't take the antics so I caught hold of him and what did I discover? Stupid had knocked the pedometer off me nightstand and cuffed it out the door into the hallway where it fell down the stairs to the first floor and his rolling around playing with it, got it caught or hooked on his collar and thus the 600 yards in less than five minutes!
This only gave me ideas. So on the weekends when I don't feel like walking two miles, I hook it on the dogs collar and send her loose to run. Yup, the Tweets are glowing and the premium is coming down. Doesn't get any better than that!
Gabe
Copyright © 2014 All rights reserved
10 comments:
Gabriel, I have a horse you could borrow, make 15 mph in 4 minutes. That should do ye! Make that premium non-existent and you famous!
Oh yeah that'll do it. Thanks for getting a photo up Lucky you look better than the white slash. LOL
for some reason, my comments aren't showing up. SIGH
ANYWAY, one day either your insurance will be almost free, OR they'll wonder why you're moving around with no sleep.LOL it'll be OH MY GOD, does that man EVER rest?
And of course with the typical Irish straight face, I'd say, "No."
If this was your friend the Weasil doing this, I would believe it ... but you ... not so much. Lots of blarney sold here LOL
lol and how does ms. jao feel about being your pedometer bud or doesn't she know she is?
That's funny! LOL Its actually surprising how quickly the steps mount up. Well done Mr. Kits!
Nice pic! :-)
Love your humour!
Lucky good to "see" you again, LOL.
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