04 June, 2013

The Curious Case of . . .

04 June 2013
674

R. Linda:

Well, what is the world coming to? I mean when any way to garner attention becomes the norm, well I just dunno anymore. It used to take running through a stadium naked, waving an oversized flag, or shouting at the top of one's lungs to get a media person to give one the undivided attention one wants, was the way it was done. But this is rather new, a name change! Who'd a-thunk a name change would work to get the media's attention, especially when not only does one change one's name, but tacks a famous one on for good measure.

Take the case of one Mark Townley, who after several moniker changes, one would think would not want attention to himself at all, but I guess when one looks at the names used, there was that need for attention just under the surface of Mr. Townley's psyche.

Here was a dude (as Weasil would refer to him), who was taken into custody in London recently for making threats against our royal whippersnapper, Prince Harry. Who'd want to harm Harry I want to know? I happen to like Harry, he's full of the old Harry, and I am usually somewhat amused at his unroyal antics. It seems Harry is a normal guy and not a stuffed shirt, so of all the royals why threaten Harry?

As it turns out, Mr. Townley threatened our Harry under his new moniker which is Ashraf Islam. That conjured that catchy church number, Shadrach, Meshach of Jericho, but never mind that me mind runs amok at times. So a little background: Mr. Townley is well known in Northern Ireland where he has the distinct label of con artist. Yes, he does. Seems Mr. Townley before he became Ashraf Islam and a few other names is from Bangor in Northern Ireland, County Down, not Maine, USA (just to be straight). He began his con man career when he changed his name to Antonio Mendez. Does that name sound familiar? Oh for sure, because Antonio Mendez is a famous sort he is. He was the CIA Technical Operations Officer who planned the escape of the American diplomats hiding in the Canadian embassy in Tehran. Ben Affleck played him in the Academy Award-winning movie ARGO. Ring a bell now? He looks like this:

The real Tony Mendez

Well, Mark Townley thought that a perfect name to assume if one was to open a security and bodyguard service. So on arrival in Liverpool, our man of the hour assumed the new moniker and advertised his new security training business where work was promised after the course. And sight unseen but knowing the name of the famous Mr. Mendez, dozens of former army soldiers paid the £250 registration fee. They were told to go to Welsh Beach and upon arrival found no Tony Mendez, no anyone but the sad fact they had all been ripped off! Who does that? Well, we know who does that and does it well and his name isn't Houdini.

In the meantime, the former fake Antonio Mendez had made his way with his stolen cash to Northern Ireland, while the Liverpool court convicted his absent arse of fraud. And once there he dropped the alias and found another ingenious and famous moniker to assume. Mark Hamill. Sounds familiar doesn't it though? I conjure in me mind this image when I hear that name:

Yes, Luke Skywalker!

And well, while living in Northern Ireland, our con man set up a business called National Task Force. Which was a business geared to gymnastics and youth boxing clubs where for a few thousand pounds sterling here and a few there, "Mr. Hamill" would provide equipment and minibuses. He actually wrote cheques for all the "stuff" after receiving monies for services to be rendered and when the cheques bounced as bounced they did, "Mr. Hamill" took himself to the Republic of Ireland, Dublin to be exact to escape prosecution in the North. 

In Dublin, he didn't just sit around and count his money, no indeed, he came up with another grand scheme he did. This time he set himself up (still using the name Mark Hamill -- well, he hadn't used it in the South so why not? -- Oh, and pity the real Mark Hamill on this next one) as a provider to newspapers of topless photographs. What newspapers he provided such to are, I have notta clue but he was doing so well with this new enterprise that he turned it into a modelling agency. Yes, he did! But, once again he issued forth bad cheques and where did he go? NORTH. I tell ya it takes brass it does.

Once in Belfast, since the modelling thing seemed to be a hot profit, he set up shop once again. He took the money of the aspiring models who PAID HIM to take their photos in the hopes they would strike it big. And once again, he absconded with the cash leaving them high and dry, no pictures, no modelling course, no claim to fame, no nothing! Well, the only one that struck it big was our fake "Mr. Hamill." When the "models" turned up to take the modelling course he had charged £150 for well, our man behind the camera had fled again. Gone, money and all! 26 people standing around wondering what happened to not only their money but their promised careers! The police were called, but "Mr. Hamill" was long gone!

And where did our scoundrel go? Dublin, AGAIN! Yes, I tell ya!

Tsk, tsk!

But Townley had an idea, this time by not only changing his name but possibly his religion. That might throw a monkey wrench in the works huh? Meanwhile, back in Belfast, the police were not finding it funny our con man had duped them twice. The thought to fix his squirrely arse by issuing a bench warrant after he "failed" to appear for his court date to answer yet another fraud charge. Are we surprised? Nooo, of course not.

Our industrious thief was busy converting to Islam and changing his name to Ashraf Islam. He even joined an Islamic group who were vigorously caught up in the austerity protest at the GPO in Dublin. One would think to keep a lower profile, but well . . . somehow he found a way to make money out of THAT and once again bounced a cheque, this time he received 7000 and then turned around and wrote a cheque for 6000 and of course it bounced because he never deposited the money in the bank!

What to do? Where to flee to? Well, he got the hell out of Dublin he did, nothing worse than mad Islamists after one's fraudulent arse, so back to Belfast he did go! The Belfast court held not one but two bench warrants and seeing no escape, Ashraf decided to give it up (for a little while anyway) and turned himself in. Yes he did, it was the right and only thing to do. He was jailed for six months, enough time for people to forget.

And that was the problem, our man, of the absconding with other people's money, did not really want to be forgotten. So, this time, he moved back to his hometown of Bangor and announced his plans to release a movie entitled, "Jesus Christ Pornstar." Now if you think that didn't raise quite a few eyebrows as well as irk many of the good Christians living in the neighbourhood, you'd be thrusting your head deep in the sand. Our misguided Islamist became the centre of a blasphemy row to end all blasphemy rows, I tell ya! But wait it got better, this film he was releasing had one Ashraf Islam in the starring role! Well, not being able to keep his fingers out of the money jar the former Mark Townley, Aka Antonio Mendez, AKA Mark Hamill (too many times to count on that besmirched name), AKA Ashraf Islam, racked up a lot of debt and YOU GUESSED IT, he did his disappearing act, this time back to England where his shifty arse wasn't so shifty because he mouthed off about threatening the life of Prince Harry and well, he was arrested and CHARGED! Yes!

And here finally is the real Mark Townley, AKA a whole lot of famous names.

Mark Townley starring as Ishraf Islam, jailbird

Wouldn't you think instead of the back and forth between Northern Ireland, Ireland, and England he'd have tried France?

Gabe
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6 comments:

mobit22 said...

LMAO

sounds TIRING? He should have picked a name no one would remember!
Why didn't you mention Abednego?LOL it's part of the song!

Gabriel O'Sullivan said...

Because it means Jericho if me memory serves and I like Jericho better. :-)~~

Dew said...

What a nerve!

Gabriel O'Sullivan said...

LOL well he obviously got on your last nerve!

Dew said...

France you say? Maybe Yves St Laurent but judging from his photograph I don't think he could pull that off

Gabriel O'Sullivan said...

You are kidding of course, like he was a ringer for Mendez and Hamill.