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12 July, 2012
R. Linda:
Where to start? I be not sure but start I must.
Early, at 4 a.m. Weasil had me up. I was barely awake when he thrust a K-cup coffee in my hand and hustled me to the loft. There he had my pirate costume. Where he found it I do not know, I had hidden it so well I couldn't remember where I put it. Anyway, there it was, and he was rushing around me doing God knows what while I sipped coffee absently more asleep on my feet than awake.
"Come on, hurry, we'll be late," he said throwing a jerkin at me. Yes, a jerkin. I looked at it, it looked vaguely familiar.
"Where'd you get this?" I said yawning.
"No matter where, just get it on, get dressed!"
I looked at him dropping it on the floor. He had on black and white striped pirate pants with knee boots, a black pirate shirt with sash, and a short vest.
"Well, don't you look quite the pirate," I said blinking at him, but not for long because a pirate shirt was pushed over my head and the coffee was out of me hand as he jammed my arms through the sleeves.
12 July, 2012
R. Linda:
Where to start? I be not sure but start I must.
Early, at 4 a.m. Weasil had me up. I was barely awake when he thrust a K-cup coffee in my hand and hustled me to the loft. There he had my pirate costume. Where he found it I do not know, I had hidden it so well I couldn't remember where I put it. Anyway, there it was, and he was rushing around me doing God knows what while I sipped coffee absently more asleep on my feet than awake.
"Come on, hurry, we'll be late," he said throwing a jerkin at me. Yes, a jerkin. I looked at it, it looked vaguely familiar.
"Where'd you get this?" I said yawning.
"No matter where, just get it on, get dressed!"
I looked at him dropping it on the floor. He had on black and white striped pirate pants with knee boots, a black pirate shirt with sash, and a short vest.
"Well, don't you look quite the pirate," I said blinking at him, but not for long because a pirate shirt was pushed over my head and the coffee was out of me hand as he jammed my arms through the sleeves.
"HEY!"
"SHUSH you'll wake the whole house," he said trying to get my arm through a long black vest.
With no thought whatsoever, but wanting my cup of joe back I got meself dressed in black pirate pants, black boots, and shouldered my way into a red pirate coat with brass buttons. While I sipped coffee (yes, I found it on the desk) he jammed a long black curly wig on me head with a pirate hat and then did himself with a bandanna. I stood there with him looking at me through his fingers, which he shaped like a hole as if looking through a spyglass.
"Argh!" he said and went back to the mess of clothing on the floor and found what he was looking for. That would be a baldric with a sword attached. This was slung over me hat and head and over one arm and Bob's your uncle I was all set. HAR!
He got a cutlass and put it through his sash and then came over to me his eyes big and put his hand over me mouth as I started to say something, what I don't know. I don't remember. We stood thus listening, it was one of the boyos up to use the water closet and back to bed. He took his hand from my mouth and put his finger to his lips. OK quiet it was. I sipped my coffee, not caring about anything.
He motioned for me to follow him and he high-stepped like a cartoon character down the stairs and out the front door, me right behind him. I noticed our shadows on the walls as we high-stepped in a creeping fashion to the door. Why was I walking like that? I had no clue.
We got to my car and he stuck me in the driver seat and closed the door as quietly as he could, then he got himself in on the other side. I started the engine, it was loud in the quiet of dawn, and he told me to "quick, step on it!" I did. I had only one cup of joe so I wasn't all there.
By the time we hit the highway, we had passed three Dunken' Donuts drive-thrus one of which I stopped and we got a dozen doughnuts and huge cups of coffee. I don't remember much of the trip to Portsmouth, I was munching on doughnuts and sipping joe. We got to Portsmouth about 9 a.m. and would have been there sooner, but I wasn't awake (and good reason, that first cup of coffee was DECAF), so I didn't follow the signs and we ended up in Rye, and then somehow turned around and found ourselves in Hampton Beach. Finally, I got us to Portsmouth. I don't know how, but I did and that's all that mattered to him.
We hit the parking garage and got a space on the second level. Considering ourselves lucky we swashbuckled out of the car. As we were moving toward the garage elevator a family with a nine and ten-year-old in tow, stopped to gawk at us. It was then I realised where I was, who with, and worst of all, how I was dressed.
The elevator opened and we got in along with the family who were smiling at us as if we were famous persons. Weasil introduced us as Captain Geoffrey Thorpe and Hook respectively. I tell ya, I wanted so to berate that rapscallion who had taken advantage of me one coffee self, and got me up, dressed, and to a public city looking like a freaking pirate! But, with the kids in the elevator, I held me tongue that was rattling in my head like a sabre ready to slash Captain Thorpe to itty-bitty pieces.
"So, you here for the big doings, tall ships and all?" The dad said.
"Yuppers," Weasil said.
"You part of the show then?" The dad smiled all taken with us as if we were celebrities.
"Oh yeah." Weasil grinned.
"You on one of the tall ships?" The man asked.
"Nah, we just walk the docks." Weasil grinned wider. "Entertain ya that way."
"You British?" The man persisted.
"Yup."
THAT admission made us super celebrities because the wife started saying how much she liked England and they were there a year ago, etc. And where in England were we from?
"Scotland." Said the Weasil brightly.
Great I thought. Just great. Scotland.
"Oh, is that outside London?" The clueless woman of English travel asked.
"Oh yeah." Weasil grinned wider if it was possible. Those teeth flashed in humour at her ignorance and I was bracing meself for what he would come out with next.
Only the elevator opened and saved us all. Weasil swashbuckled out after them pulling me with him. I was like a mule I stood there rooted to the spot. He pulled on my coat but I refused to move. I wanted the little family to go on ahead because I had a lot of things to say to Captain Thorpe AKA Weasil, none of which was complimentary.
Only that didn't happen because other people were coming and they all looked at us with big amused smiles on their faces. We got a few "Har there mateys" and "YAR Captains" so it was impossible to yell at him without looking like a great pirate buffoon. Reluctantly I followed his arse out of the garage, but as I passed the chrome mirror of a parked car I saw my reflection and nearly had heart failure. I stopped and took a good look. The Weasil had kohled me eyes with Tonya's eyeliner and had used the pencil to fill in a moustache and I was aghast.
"You . . . you . . . you . . . " I grumbled.
"Don't thank me yet Captain, wait until we get to the ship."
I stopped in me tracks.
"When did you do that?" I said feeling me face and then it dawned on me what he said, "What ship?"
"OUR ship. Come on." And off he went with me running to catch up, completely embarrassed at how I looked and how I was dressed, but too late to turn back now.
"Who the feck is Captain Geoffrey Thorpe anyhow?" I asked him as I caught up.
"Errol Flynn played da part in da Sea Hawk." He threw at me like I should know that.
"Didn't he wear tights?" I asked just to be a thorn in Captain Thorpe's side.
"Yuppers, but your tights were green so I didn't think green would look goodly as pirate wear."
"WHO ARE YOU?" I asked sincerely. He was pushing all me buttons and there I was usually a three-cup of joe guy who only had two cups, and one of those was DECAF, and I was really out of sorts as a result.
End Part 1 - To be continued
Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved
"SHUSH you'll wake the whole house," he said trying to get my arm through a long black vest.
With no thought whatsoever, but wanting my cup of joe back I got meself dressed in black pirate pants, black boots, and shouldered my way into a red pirate coat with brass buttons. While I sipped coffee (yes, I found it on the desk) he jammed a long black curly wig on me head with a pirate hat and then did himself with a bandanna. I stood there with him looking at me through his fingers, which he shaped like a hole as if looking through a spyglass.
"Argh!" he said and went back to the mess of clothing on the floor and found what he was looking for. That would be a baldric with a sword attached. This was slung over me hat and head and over one arm and Bob's your uncle I was all set. HAR!
He got a cutlass and put it through his sash and then came over to me his eyes big and put his hand over me mouth as I started to say something, what I don't know. I don't remember. We stood thus listening, it was one of the boyos up to use the water closet and back to bed. He took his hand from my mouth and put his finger to his lips. OK quiet it was. I sipped my coffee, not caring about anything.
He motioned for me to follow him and he high-stepped like a cartoon character down the stairs and out the front door, me right behind him. I noticed our shadows on the walls as we high-stepped in a creeping fashion to the door. Why was I walking like that? I had no clue.
We got to my car and he stuck me in the driver seat and closed the door as quietly as he could, then he got himself in on the other side. I started the engine, it was loud in the quiet of dawn, and he told me to "quick, step on it!" I did. I had only one cup of joe so I wasn't all there.
By the time we hit the highway, we had passed three Dunken' Donuts drive-thrus one of which I stopped and we got a dozen doughnuts and huge cups of coffee. I don't remember much of the trip to Portsmouth, I was munching on doughnuts and sipping joe. We got to Portsmouth about 9 a.m. and would have been there sooner, but I wasn't awake (and good reason, that first cup of coffee was DECAF), so I didn't follow the signs and we ended up in Rye, and then somehow turned around and found ourselves in Hampton Beach. Finally, I got us to Portsmouth. I don't know how, but I did and that's all that mattered to him.
We hit the parking garage and got a space on the second level. Considering ourselves lucky we swashbuckled out of the car. As we were moving toward the garage elevator a family with a nine and ten-year-old in tow, stopped to gawk at us. It was then I realised where I was, who with, and worst of all, how I was dressed.
The elevator opened and we got in along with the family who were smiling at us as if we were famous persons. Weasil introduced us as Captain Geoffrey Thorpe and Hook respectively. I tell ya, I wanted so to berate that rapscallion who had taken advantage of me one coffee self, and got me up, dressed, and to a public city looking like a freaking pirate! But, with the kids in the elevator, I held me tongue that was rattling in my head like a sabre ready to slash Captain Thorpe to itty-bitty pieces.
"So, you here for the big doings, tall ships and all?" The dad said.
"Yuppers," Weasil said.
"You part of the show then?" The dad smiled all taken with us as if we were celebrities.
"Oh yeah." Weasil grinned.
"You on one of the tall ships?" The man asked.
"Nah, we just walk the docks." Weasil grinned wider. "Entertain ya that way."
"You British?" The man persisted.
"Yup."
THAT admission made us super celebrities because the wife started saying how much she liked England and they were there a year ago, etc. And where in England were we from?
"Scotland." Said the Weasil brightly.
Great I thought. Just great. Scotland.
"Oh, is that outside London?" The clueless woman of English travel asked.
"Oh yeah." Weasil grinned wider if it was possible. Those teeth flashed in humour at her ignorance and I was bracing meself for what he would come out with next.
Only the elevator opened and saved us all. Weasil swashbuckled out after them pulling me with him. I was like a mule I stood there rooted to the spot. He pulled on my coat but I refused to move. I wanted the little family to go on ahead because I had a lot of things to say to Captain Thorpe AKA Weasil, none of which was complimentary.
Only that didn't happen because other people were coming and they all looked at us with big amused smiles on their faces. We got a few "Har there mateys" and "YAR Captains" so it was impossible to yell at him without looking like a great pirate buffoon. Reluctantly I followed his arse out of the garage, but as I passed the chrome mirror of a parked car I saw my reflection and nearly had heart failure. I stopped and took a good look. The Weasil had kohled me eyes with Tonya's eyeliner and had used the pencil to fill in a moustache and I was aghast.
"You . . . you . . . you . . . " I grumbled.
"Don't thank me yet Captain, wait until we get to the ship."
I stopped in me tracks.
"When did you do that?" I said feeling me face and then it dawned on me what he said, "What ship?"
"OUR ship. Come on." And off he went with me running to catch up, completely embarrassed at how I looked and how I was dressed, but too late to turn back now.
"Who the feck is Captain Geoffrey Thorpe anyhow?" I asked him as I caught up.
"Errol Flynn played da part in da Sea Hawk." He threw at me like I should know that.
"Didn't he wear tights?" I asked just to be a thorn in Captain Thorpe's side.
"Yuppers, but your tights were green so I didn't think green would look goodly as pirate wear."
"WHO ARE YOU?" I asked sincerely. He was pushing all me buttons and there I was usually a three-cup of joe guy who only had two cups, and one of those was DECAF, and I was really out of sorts as a result.
End Part 1 - To be continued
Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved
5 comments:
I don't know about you two, but I'm not surprised. You should go into hiding when the young Scotsman is arriving. I don't know how you put up with his antics. He belongs in a well fortified prison where the key has been lost. Do let me know what direction he takes when he leaves you so I can go into hiding, or at least have guards posted. Thanks so much.
LOL sounds like you're in thick. I am curious how you get out of this, or if you do.
didn't it enter your brain to ask Weas where you were really going and why? i'd think by now you'd know better but I suppose the excuse is the decaf k-cup again?
YUP
You know I would, but he left without telling me (and I did ask him where he was off to), he just said "some placie" if that helps.
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