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R. Linda:
It all started about a week ago. Seems like a month and still going on. There I be on a bright sunny Saturday morning, all settled in the living area under the loft, hot piping cup of Joe on me right, sports section spread out and me in the middle of it all. When suddenly me serene setting turned into a dripping, vile smeling mess of me wearing child vomit, great chunks of it.
Yes, I had heard the pitter-patter of little feet above me and given it no mind that me son was shuffling around up in the loft calling, "Mommy." His mam was up there to supervise somewhere, and I did hear her say, "O'Hare get your head out from between that railing," then the "Oh no!" which came a wee bit late as I was suddenly drenched from above with the worst kind of childhood vomit. It rained down upon not only me person, but me sainted paper, into me hot coffee and well, what can I say?
I looked up tentatively calling, "Is he finished?" as a second helping came down quickly and straight into me face.
Me wife was mopping his poor brow, the stuff was dripping from above and so was I from below. This started a horrendous week for me. We went through three more episodes of the same, projected at anyone from anywhere, thankfully mostly at me wife. Then I came down with the violent disease, followed by the wife. There we were a family of three, sick as dogs trying to care for each other and in dire need of help. That help came in the form of me mother-in-law flying up from New Jersey on her broom.
She got herself to us from airport in style -- a stretch limo. Yes, a limo. There were no taxis to be had at a busy Christmastime airport, so she got the limo and arrived in fur coat and a hundred and fifty suitcases, ready to play the role of Florence Nightingale. There I be, in me jammies, sicker than ever, dragging in her baggage. I even had to tip the limo driver (and they are expensive!) who stood far back from me, not helping because he didn't want "To catch anything."
After several hundred trips up the stairs to HER room, I finally deposited the luggage and passed out in me bed from the exertion. I was just getting into a deep sleep when I was shook awake by the dragon-in-law (using a back scratcher to touch me with) informing me, me wife needed me.
I dragged meself downstairs to find Tonya worshipping the porcelain bowl and that got me to dry heaves. The dragon-in-law was in the kitchen sitting at table, sipping tea and eating cookies! I wanted to kill her I did. I be a law abiding man ordinarily, but something was near to snapping in me fevered brain. I helped me wife, who didn't want me help, and started with her up the stairs when her mother came to the bottom of the railing and said to me, "Now Gabriel, you give her the bed, she's just as sick and has a child to care for, you come down here and take the couch."
OH GEE THANKS and what are you here for, to eat me out of house and home -- was what was running around me head. I did as told and was trying to summon the energy to get a pillow and blankie when suddenly to me startled gaze me mother-in-law comes in with her tea, plate of cookies, and a book to settle down opposite me. AND, she had me GREEN BLANKIE, which she proceeded to wrap around her while I sat there shaking from cold in total amazement. I almost screamed out like a spoiled girl, "THAT IS ME GREEN BLANKIE!!!"
But I refrained as me weakness made that quite impossible to even croak the word "blankie" as if it were the last one on earth. BUT it was the one YOU made especially for ME and there, oh drat, there was HERSELF with me blankie wrapped around her, ME BLANKIE! Not just any blankie, it was green, it was knitted, it was warm and it was MINE!
So I lay there feeling very sorry for meself indeed. Oh and very cold, don't forget THAT.
Gabe
Copyright © 2007 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
It all started about a week ago. Seems like a month and still going on. There I be on a bright sunny Saturday morning, all settled in the living area under the loft, hot piping cup of Joe on me right, sports section spread out and me in the middle of it all. When suddenly me serene setting turned into a dripping, vile smeling mess of me wearing child vomit, great chunks of it.
Yes, I had heard the pitter-patter of little feet above me and given it no mind that me son was shuffling around up in the loft calling, "Mommy." His mam was up there to supervise somewhere, and I did hear her say, "O'Hare get your head out from between that railing," then the "Oh no!" which came a wee bit late as I was suddenly drenched from above with the worst kind of childhood vomit. It rained down upon not only me person, but me sainted paper, into me hot coffee and well, what can I say?
I looked up tentatively calling, "Is he finished?" as a second helping came down quickly and straight into me face.
Me wife was mopping his poor brow, the stuff was dripping from above and so was I from below. This started a horrendous week for me. We went through three more episodes of the same, projected at anyone from anywhere, thankfully mostly at me wife. Then I came down with the violent disease, followed by the wife. There we were a family of three, sick as dogs trying to care for each other and in dire need of help. That help came in the form of me mother-in-law flying up from New Jersey on her broom.
She got herself to us from airport in style -- a stretch limo. Yes, a limo. There were no taxis to be had at a busy Christmastime airport, so she got the limo and arrived in fur coat and a hundred and fifty suitcases, ready to play the role of Florence Nightingale. There I be, in me jammies, sicker than ever, dragging in her baggage. I even had to tip the limo driver (and they are expensive!) who stood far back from me, not helping because he didn't want "To catch anything."
After several hundred trips up the stairs to HER room, I finally deposited the luggage and passed out in me bed from the exertion. I was just getting into a deep sleep when I was shook awake by the dragon-in-law (using a back scratcher to touch me with) informing me, me wife needed me.
I dragged meself downstairs to find Tonya worshipping the porcelain bowl and that got me to dry heaves. The dragon-in-law was in the kitchen sitting at table, sipping tea and eating cookies! I wanted to kill her I did. I be a law abiding man ordinarily, but something was near to snapping in me fevered brain. I helped me wife, who didn't want me help, and started with her up the stairs when her mother came to the bottom of the railing and said to me, "Now Gabriel, you give her the bed, she's just as sick and has a child to care for, you come down here and take the couch."
OH GEE THANKS and what are you here for, to eat me out of house and home -- was what was running around me head. I did as told and was trying to summon the energy to get a pillow and blankie when suddenly to me startled gaze me mother-in-law comes in with her tea, plate of cookies, and a book to settle down opposite me. AND, she had me GREEN BLANKIE, which she proceeded to wrap around her while I sat there shaking from cold in total amazement. I almost screamed out like a spoiled girl, "THAT IS ME GREEN BLANKIE!!!"
But I refrained as me weakness made that quite impossible to even croak the word "blankie" as if it were the last one on earth. BUT it was the one YOU made especially for ME and there, oh drat, there was HERSELF with me blankie wrapped around her, ME BLANKIE! Not just any blankie, it was green, it was knitted, it was warm and it was MINE!
So I lay there feeling very sorry for meself indeed. Oh and very cold, don't forget THAT.
Gabe
Copyright © 2007 All rights reserved
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