Story #9
R. Linda:
Once upon a time in the world of newspapers, journalists, copy editors, photo editors and people who go by unmentionably long titles who own newspapers, there happened to exist one Irishman, who thought he'd heard a lot in his own country, but was surprised, no shocked, to learn he hadn't heard it all.
Sitting in a pre-meeting with colleagues, awaiting the BIG MAN to come speak to all his little people, we were in a relaxed posture, flipping pens, fiddling with ties, crossing legs, uncrossing legs, pulling skirts down, folding our fingers and making them look like church steeples, and generally looking bored, the whole lot of us. In these situations, there is usually someone who comes up with some anecdote that amuses me. In this case, it was meself.
Mary Boggins-Atherton (I adore people who use hyphens, so nouveau riche), was complaining, yes complaining about her daughter who had lost several teeth in the course of a few weeks. The first one fell out all on its own, the second she lost because she fell and knocked it out. Then just this week, her brother took a wiffle bat and swung without looking, and the poor wee darling lost two more teeth. Needless to say, said child looks more like a Jack O'Lantern than a cutie of 6 (at least I think she's 6).
The dilemma is now this: This very morning the Halloween cutie notices the puppy has lost a tooth too. Well, greed has entered into the child's wee brain. Seems she has received a dollar for the first tooth, a dollar fifty for the one knocked out when she fell (and for a fat lip to go with it), and a whopping five dollars for the two her brother belted out of her mouth with the bat. So Mary Boggins-Atherton was regaling us this and said she didn't know what to do because little Sarah Jane was going to put the puppy's tooth under her pillow, and expected payment from the tooth faery. What to do?
She couldn't have the child become a mercenary at the tender age of 6. Well, this discussion was batted about for a while with people saying, Mary should sit little Sarah Jane down and explain to her that the tooth faery doesn't do dogs, or that money isn't everything, or tell her outright NO! I said, "People, people, now just one moment if you please. If the dear child wants to give the tooth faery a doggy tooth, then it is only fair she be rewarded."
That brought shouts of "Gabriel! We are trying to teach values here, not make it worse." And on it went. I held up me hand and stood up for all to see I meant business. I said to them, "No, let me finish. If Sarah Jane puts the doggy tooth under her pillow, then leave her a doggy treat from the tooth faery."
Linda, you'd have thought yours truly a damnable genius, and oh, the humour in it all. Tonight when greedy little Sarah Jane lies her head down upon her pillow, tenderly touching the doggy tooth beneath, and falls asleep dreaming of twenty dollar bills coming her way, think of the surprise the morning light will bring with it when she discovers the doggy treat. ;)~
Gabe
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