The Thursday before last, things got rather bizarre, I know like that doesn't ever happen. Well, the bizarre was Guido. We call him Sneaky Pete because he has a habit of quietly coming down the stairs and listening to adult conversations. This annoys me Mam because she's of the old belief little ears, big mouths. He has been discovered several times by his older brother, who feels it is his job to yell loudly that Guido, "is listening to your conversation people!"
Any opportunity that O'Hare can tell Guido what to do, how to do it, and then critique said chore or what have you, he does it. Tonya has spoken to him about this brother's keeper thing and she thought she had that under wraps, but no, this week O'Hare came home from school all sad because his friends were "mad with him." When asked what happened, he said: "The music teacher told us to practise our instruments while she was out of the room. Cory, Cody and Matt were too busy talking and I told them to practise or they'd be in trouble." There it was, he just can't mind his own business. I said that they were his teacher's problem and if he was practising himself he didn't have time to reprimand them. He said he WAS practising and shouting over his snare drum at them. "Oh great," said I, "they were mad at you because you were being teacher's pet."
He couldn't accept that, he said he was only doing the right thing. I explained in painful terms that doing the right thing when it counted was admirable, but in this case the three ex-friends were not his responsibility AND it wasn't a matter of do or die if they got caught not doing what the teacher had asked them. Oi!
So this now boils down to O'Hare shepherding his younger brother about the house because he thinks he's helping. Then he wonders why Guido gets upset with him and won't play or talk to him. I tell ya! I have had that conversation so many times this week I be blue in the face from it.
With O'Hare's giving Guido's sneaky antics away, Guido has found another way of listening, yes he has. And it is rather ingenious if I do say so meself.
Thursday night, as I mentioned before, was a rather bizarre evening. We were at the dinner table when I said softly to remind Tonya, "You know who be dropping in Saturday." She looked at me confused and then remembered when Guido interrupted with the name of the person who was a surprise to me cousin Sean. Sean's engagement didn't work out and after he privately told us the sad, sad story of "herself" becoming demanding once she had the ring on her finger, and that any female, young or old he spoke even a hello to, she berated him for cheating on her. There was more of this nonsense and to his credit, instead of becoming hen-pecked Harry, he broke off the engagement. In his heart he misses his Irish Rose and there are occasional telephone calls between them, but Tonya is out to nip that in the bud with another Irish Rose we all know, who I don't think a good choice at all after the Patrick fiasco.
Well, surprise over once Sean heard the name and well, he wasn't at all surprised since there was no surprise now, but he was delighted that on Saturday, Maureen's sister is coming to visit. At least that's what I thought at first. It was supposed to be a pleasant surprise because he had expressed interest in the young woman, and Tonya had me arrange for her to come visit. So that was that. I did wonder how Guido knew that, but it slipped me mind to ask because Sean was all full of questions.
"How did ya git me Rosie's number?" Sean asked.
"Your Rosie?" Said I, "No Maureen's sister Rose."
OMG -- The brain dead eejit thought I meant HIS former flame of the same name. Well, grand smile wiped off his face instantly. What to do?
"You wanted your Boston Rose to come here?" I said foolishly.
"Well, noo, I wuz tinkin' dat wuz da Rose yer wuz aboot."
"We can cancel Maureen's Rose from coming." Tonya said looking confused.
"Oh noo, noo, leter coomb, yer never nose wot may becoom of it." Sean said half-heartedly.
Well, we got into a discussion of cancelling and he said no, but the disappointment was obvious and we had Guido to thank for it. We had made the visit on Saturday one of casual dropping by, like "Hey, look who just happened to be in the neighbourhood." That sort of thing, but no, now the Guido was out of the bag, as me Mam says. We even stated it was a drop in, not an invite, but once again that was blasted out of the water, with "Nah da, YOU invited her b-caus mom tole ya to."
Tonya asked me aside but in hearing range of Guido, if I would pick up the you-know-what from the bakery for the visit and before I could say "yes," Guido said loudly, "Oh yeah Da dunt fur git da strawberry short cake." THAT was a surprise too, it be Sean's fav cake and cake out of the box now thanks to Mr. Informative. How he knew that I don't know.
Well, since last night's 'revealing' conversations and surprises blasted out of the surprise pit, Guido went on a tare of telling secrets no one knew anyone else knew, and it got rather exciting at one point, when Guido made the great reveal on O'Hare that O'Hare had made a framed poem expressing his love for a certain 11 year old girl named Amy. Oh boy! THAT came up when I was instructing O'Hare to get his homework done and asked what on earth he had been doing for the past hour. Seems he was working on the "Amy Project" as Guido put it and wasn't doing his homework. I had no clue what that was until Guido went into O'Hare's room and pulled it out from under the pillow.
O'Hare's mouth was gaping in surprise until he got the question of how did Guido know about THAT? Yeah, with the door closed no one could see what O'Hare had been doing, but O'Hare was on the phone to his BFF and though he was whispering to his BFF somehow, Guido knew what was said. I do remember during that hour, that Guido was supposed to be doing HIS homework, and he did skip in and inform us he was done, could he do what he wanted. The answer was yes, once his mother looked the homework over. Where he went, and what he did, I have no clue, but me Mam was convinced he was crouched at O'Hare's keyhole listening.
"Eeder dat or da lad be psychic." She said in a whisper. Uh huh.
As the next week progressed, more and more things were being said, that were said between other people, O'Hare and Amy in particular, and O'Hare and his BFF Martin, along with what advice me Mam had given him on girls, etc. This led to a red-faced O'Hare who wasn't about to share the Amy courtship quite yet. He had only told me Mam and so when Guido came out with delicious little ex-secrets, he blew up at HER (poor woman was very confused and stammering her innocence, but O'Hare wasn't buying it). Meanwhile, Guido walked the premises with a smug smile on his not so innocent face.
With too much being said by Guido that he shouldn't know, I was curious. So the other night when we had the same thing about finishing homework and being on free time until bath and bed was scheduled, I made to see what he was doing, in the hopes of catching him at someones keyhole. Well, wasn't a keyhole, no, no, no, much more ingenious than that. The boyo knew he'd be seen in a home with open concept, and having been told about the Sneaky Pete business he became even more sneaky.
I watched him from me office window. I had turned out the lights so I could see him, but he couldn't see me as he made his way down the slope in the front yard. There he made his way to a certain tree and sat down for a very long time. I couldn't figure it out. Why would he sit in the gathering dusk not moving, but sometimes laughing to himself, or nodding, or shaking his head? At one point he was trying to stifle his laughter by holding his sides. This concerned me that he was having a fit. I was about to leave me sneaky hiding place when he got up and came inside. Curiosity consuming me I silently slipped out the front door and took meself to said tree. Well, well, well, I found the source of Guido's listening device. While I was standing next to the tree I could hear O'Hare telling Martin that he was "going to 'hang' with Amy at the roller skating party and give her the gift" he made for her birthday. Ah ha! Guido was getting his info from a water pipe! See here:
|Yup Guido sat next to THIS and heard all the house goings on|
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