14 June, 2015

The damn dog, the fan and me foot!

14 June 2015

R. Linda:

In the scheme of things when one needs to slow down and does not, the Fates take over and make sure that one is slowed to a standstill when need be. This was me experience recently when it seemed I was running all over the place without taking a breath. I was out in the garden helping the wife with the new garden and if you think making a new garden is a joy you are looking at the wrong guy. THIS new garden is five times the size of the one Tonya lovingly had at the old abode. Because there is more cleared land, that makes for bigger garden -- that's her logic! Oh yeah.

Meanwhile, work had picked up and I be busier than ever and so the wife begrudgingly informed me she would make the new garden herself and of course, not to be out done on making me feel more guilty than I already did, her MOTHER (the Dragon), said she'd help. If you remember, I found a guy on that Internet list and he roto-tillered his toes. So as it turned out, I ended up doing it all meself.

I'd come home from work, find dinner was not on the table because now I had two resident cooks on me hands (her mother, my mother) who argued over what to serve and how to prepare it. That only left me to get out of the line of fire by making the garden. This went on for a week and a half of me at work, home to make garden, then in exhausted, to a dinner that was always weird because the two resident cooks insisted on adding salt where there wasn't any called for, or sugar where you'd least expect it, and the arguing needed an arbitrator (me), and by the time things were settled in the kitchen the two oldsters moved it to the living room to argue over the remote, AND THEN it was time to help Tonya get the kids bathed and in bed, stories read, and me going to me home office to finish up some work, and then to bed and the next day the same old same old. Take a breath Gabe, I tell ya!

I wasn't gaining weight from the meals that were being conglomerated on me plate at night, and any calories I did gain, went with the garden work. To say I was on the run down side, would be a great way of putting it. I knew I had to stop, to take a day off, but because the two old ladies were in me adobe I knew that was not a good idea. I couldn't go on holiday and leave the wife and kiddos so what did I do? I continued on as before running meself ragged.

Then it happened. Everything came together like a car crash. I came home, went to the garden, then to the table wondering what the hell I was being served, after bathing kiddos, getting them in pyjamas, the doorbell rang and who was on me doorstep but Robbie Kincaid, the better half of the Weasil/Kincaid Side Show. After getting meself worked up that the Weasil was somewhere about, I finally believed the big Scot that he was alone. He needed a place to crash said he.

I was all the time asking him how he found me. I did not forward me new address but after five times of me begging to know how he knew he told me Weasil had told him. Of course! That's how knackered I was because ordinarily I'd have surmised that on me own. I had no place to put his fat arse, but I needn't worried, Dragon gave him her room and she would sleep with Tonya, leaving me to sleep on the floor somewhere. I was pissed off I was, but made the best of a bad situation by waiting until nearly 2 a.m. for everyone to go to bed so I could camp out on the living room sofa. Tonya had wanted to buy a sleeper sofa way back when and I said no, because I didn't want an extra bed for unwanted guests. Well, I ended up being a guest in me own abode!

Finally, as comfy as I could get, I lay meself on the sofa and tried to sleep but it was warm. Not warm enough for the house AC, but warm a fan would do the trick. I got one, one of those stander ones. Oh here let me take a photo of me nemesis.

The culprit lying in wait for the unsuspecting sleeper
After I had set up the fan I took a sleeping draught because I KNEW I'd get no sleep on that couch. The dog thought I was a great dog bed and she'd be on top of me or next to me and we know sleep would be elusive! As to the coon hound THAT was ensconced next to its mistresses bed. Or so I thought.

The hum of the fan and the sleep medicine lulled me to sleep as uncomfortable as I was with me feet hanging off the end of the sofa, dog on top followed by cat sometime during the night on me head. And how did I know the cat was there, she was grooming my hair with her claws, that's how I knew! It was about 3:00 in the morning that damnable coon hound let out three loud woofs by me head. This had me nearly jumping out of me skin it did. I got up looking around in the dark, not sure where I was and stupid me moved around as if looking for an intruder, when mostly asleep I walked smack into the fan which . . . I did hear humming but being not awake was unmindful to its whereabouts or mine, whichever the case might have been. And when I did walk into that fan I walked into it! I mean I really walked into it like there was nothing there. I broke me little toe I did, and fractured the one next to it and a whole lot of little bones in me foot. The ball of me foot under the big toe is swollen way out I can't put on a shoe. Here look at this!

The little swollen toe attached to the swollen foot was originally sticking out at a right and painful angle
Yes, I did a number on meself. Being not quite awake I knew if I woke any further up I'd be feeling pain, so I did the unthinkable I made me way to the powder room, dragging me injured foot, and in the dark found a wash cloth, ran it under cold water (because I was too lazy to go to the kitchen for ice and I didn't want to wake up anymore than I was for the pain). I limped back to the sofa, this time mindful of the fan, and as I put the cold cloth to me tootsies I realised one of them was sticking out at a right angle. THAT got me to turn on the light and what I saw had me swooning. The little toe was sticking straight out to the right of me foot, the toe next to it was leaning in the same direction but not so violently. I quickly turned the light out, threw the wet cloth over the smarting members and went back to sleep.

Next day me foot was yellow, green, blue, purple, black and very swollen. I of course could not step on it, let alone walk. I was given a crutch by the Dragon who comes prepared because of her knees. The crutch was too short so I used it like a cane to hobble around. She made me put a sock on the foot she said, to keep the little toe in place, but in reality I think it was so she didn't have to look at it.

I ended up at doctors who told me I dislocated me toes, fractured  small bones in the foot and broke the pinkie toe. He did not recommend surgery, but told me to ice, ice, ice and keep the foot elevated and he told to me to buy a special kind of elastic support sock to keep the toe in place. He didn't think it severe enough to split, or operate on or put a metal rod in it, OUCH.

So a few days go by, I am able to step on it, but still can't walk without howling in pain. The veins are still popped way out. It now looks like this:

Colours are not as dark, the swelling is still prominent but hey at least the toes are in place
I blame it on the coon hound. Yes, I do. He had no clue I was sleeping on at the sofa and when he came upon me he thought me an intruder and thus the ear drum shattering barking in me face that woke me up with a start and had me standing up in a dither, and slamming me foot into the fan I forgot was there. Yes, it was all his fault!

Gabe
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21 comments:

  1. Aw Gabe! A broken toe is very painful. Sometimes taping the little toe to the one next to it helps. Feel better!

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    Replies
    1. If I do that I will be walking more like a duck than I already am. Taping toes or fingers together allows them to grow together webbing them.

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    2. american history johnny tremaine bandaged his fingers and they grew together and he had a webbed hand until (was it paul revere?) cut the webs?

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    3. You Fionnula are a smart arse. I love to talk to people like you. You know so much it is hard not to be impressed by the wealth of knowledge that spews forth.

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    4. His fingers were burned. Not broken

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    5. tom w i don't know how to take that.
      dew i never said his fingers were broken or burned. i said he wrapped them together and they webbed.

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    6. some of us should not dispense medical advice without a license specially when not a doctor.

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    7. Wow Fionnula you are something! Opinionated, and a salad LMAO. Better blog shot than the other one ROFLMAO

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    8. You are absolutely right Fionnula. I do tend to offer advice coming from a medical family, my father a doctor and my Mum an SRN. It's kind of in me. I can assure you it comes from a good place. It is just the mother in me and the nurturing person I am. Just trying to help, but I agree, it can be dangerous if one doesn't know what they are talking about. So with that said, hope your toe gets better Gabe. Keep sipping the Guinness. There!

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    9. Children we need stop the comments now. Fiona if you want to appear as a salad that's okay by me. What possessed you to use that photo I don't know and don't want to know, but hey it proves you have a sense of humour.

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    10. That's pretty funny considering I'm 20 years younger than you.

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    11. You're 20 right? lol. Hey I'm proud. A lot of people don't live this long so I aporeciate your sentiment. Roflmao.

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  2. is the dog laughing? something tells me it is. :+)

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  3. I am sorry I had to laugh. The whole image of you startled out of sleep and walking into a running fan...priceless.

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  4. Not laughing, been there done that my right baby toe will never be the same. Toe broke hitting a wall,walking in the dark. The only thing I got was time Tylenol and ice ! Oh yeah, I wear slippers now to keep my toes together and safe.

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    Replies
    1. Finally sympathy. Thank you Muse.

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    2. I'll say again. Nothing doctors can do for broken toe. They suggest taping to next toe to stabilize it so it's not shooting off to an unnatural side. Hurts more to tape it but speeds up the recovery. Look it up for yourself

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    3. Yes they can he said he could operate but didn't think it necessary.

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    4. Exactly. But your toe might be more severe with other bones broken around it. But basic broken pinky toe it will heal by itself.

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  5. That hurts to think about a toe out of place. Ugh.

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