31 January 2012
494
R. Linda:
I tell ya, I can't get any respect I can't. I have had a Smart Phone, an Android that has been an interesting little tool that hooked me up from me computer to me phone nicely, BUT the battery would run down after an hour and this after having it for three months. So I was complaining to Capt Jaack of all people about this and he informed me I needed to replace the battery. Well, the battery wasn't the problem according to the Verizon man behind the counter, it was I had too many apps going and I was forcing me phone to work harder even when shut off. So I wrote the Capt and told him what happened and asked him what kind of phone he had and if he would recommend I change me Smart Phone for something else.
WELL, the Capt told me this in so many words: "Gabe I have an iPhone 4S it is the one that talks to you. The battery holds the charge well mate, but it's that Siri you need to be cautious of HER if you decide to trade the Droid in for an iPhone 4S. Maybe you should get the old iPhone so you don't have to put up with the backtalk."
Now I was intrigued, backtalk? Siri? What was going on and so I put the question to the Captain.
"Mate, let me tell you Siri is a bitch. She won't tell me anything and she says unkind things to me. She cuts me every chance she gets and worse, points out in so many words she thinks I'm a stupid man. She's the voice of the phone matey, you can ask her where something is or what's the best place to buy a case of rum and she'll tell you. But she tells me with a very snotty attitude like I am a waste of her time."
Truly? A phone with an attitude? So what did you do about this? Complain to the phone company? I wanted to know. I couldn't (from the Capt's correspondence to me) imagine HIM putting up with this for long.
"Well, Mate I fixed her I did. I thought to myself what would our mutual friend Wolfie do. So I asked him (well, not directly -- in my head I did) AND he said, switch her arse off and get the British guy. Well, I found Jeeves and activated HIM instead. Only he's as bad as Siri, he has this uppity tone to his voice like I am taking him away from something he enjoys doing, for "stupid commands."
"Wait," I said, "tell me first about Siri and give me an example of why you replaced her."
"Mate, the first time I talked to her, I said, "Get me the VZ Contact Transfer Ap," and she said, "There is no DZ Transfer Ap.," so I said, "I did NOT say DZ I said VZ!" And she said, "I cannot find a DZ Ap." I tried this maybe five times, with my last I said, "V like in Victor, Z like in Zebra," and she, in a very snide tone said, "I cannot get you a ZEBRA!" I threw down the phone switched on my computer and did it myself! The last time, I said, "Siri?" and nothing. "Siri? Siri? Siri where are you?" finally she answered with, "Nowhere." Really? Nowhere? So I asked her one more time, "Siri where are you?" and she said, "I am where you are!" Like I was stupid or something. That was the last straw Gabe, I couldn't take it anymore, every time I asked her something she had some zinger for me. That's when I sat around wondering what to do when I thought of Wolfie and his Blackberry. He lobbed that thing into the sofa once because of connection problems and said he hated phones. I thought I'd like to lob Siri off the end of a plank into the deep dark sea only I paid too much money for the damn phone! Then it came to me what would Wolfie do, you know how we give each other the WWWD? Yeah, well alas matey, I sat there and envisioned the Wolf and it came to me to chuck Siri's arse overboard and pull in the British guy. I went to my Siri file and removed her so fast I think her head was still spinning and I pulled out Jeeves.
"So how is that working for you?"
"Oh my God mate, it isn't. He's as bad as that mouthy woman! I said to him, "Jeeves my good man get me directions to Portland." AND HE SAID, "I do not understand you." I was beside myself. I tried it with a British accent and that sort of helped, but he said he only understood part of what I asked. I thought OK try something else, so I said, I need to call me first mate, and he said, "I'm sorry to inform you BUT I am very busy right now and cannot fulfil your request. Please give me a "tingle" later." I'd like to give him a tingle! I said, "What the heck are you doing you haven't the time for me?" And he said, "Sorry, I'd like to answer you but am very busy, try again later." I was livid, "YOU JEEVES work for me! What are you doing you are so freaking busy?" And he said, "I can't tell you that at the moment." Arrrrghhh!!!"
"So what are you doing for a phone? I take it you don't use the automated voice service?"
"No mate, I do use it. Anytime I get miffed or have a bad day, I'll call up Jeeves and give him a piece of my mind."
And what happens?
"Well, he either clams up like Siri and shuts himself off, or, and this gets to me, he laughs!"
"He what? He laughs at you?"
"Yeah mate he does, he says nothing or either laughs or shuts himself off where he can't hear me."
My concern is not for the Capt's iPhone but for the Capt's state of mind. Something isn't right on the Capt's ship and I think it's the Capt. But don't tell him I said that.
I think I'll stick with me Smart Phone and leave the talking voices to the Capt (who I think hears voices when they aren't there anyway). ;-)~
Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved
R. Linda:
I tell ya, I can't get any respect I can't. I have had a Smart Phone, an Android that has been an interesting little tool that hooked me up from me computer to me phone nicely, BUT the battery would run down after an hour and this after having it for three months. So I was complaining to Capt Jaack of all people about this and he informed me I needed to replace the battery. Well, the battery wasn't the problem according to the Verizon man behind the counter, it was I had too many apps going and I was forcing me phone to work harder even when shut off. So I wrote the Capt and told him what happened and asked him what kind of phone he had and if he would recommend I change me Smart Phone for something else.
WELL, the Capt told me this in so many words: "Gabe I have an iPhone 4S it is the one that talks to you. The battery holds the charge well mate, but it's that Siri you need to be cautious of HER if you decide to trade the Droid in for an iPhone 4S. Maybe you should get the old iPhone so you don't have to put up with the backtalk."
Now I was intrigued, backtalk? Siri? What was going on and so I put the question to the Captain.
"Mate, let me tell you Siri is a bitch. She won't tell me anything and she says unkind things to me. She cuts me every chance she gets and worse, points out in so many words she thinks I'm a stupid man. She's the voice of the phone matey, you can ask her where something is or what's the best place to buy a case of rum and she'll tell you. But she tells me with a very snotty attitude like I am a waste of her time."
Truly? A phone with an attitude? So what did you do about this? Complain to the phone company? I wanted to know. I couldn't (from the Capt's correspondence to me) imagine HIM putting up with this for long.
"Well, Mate I fixed her I did. I thought to myself what would our mutual friend Wolfie do. So I asked him (well, not directly -- in my head I did) AND he said, switch her arse off and get the British guy. Well, I found Jeeves and activated HIM instead. Only he's as bad as Siri, he has this uppity tone to his voice like I am taking him away from something he enjoys doing, for "stupid commands."
"Wait," I said, "tell me first about Siri and give me an example of why you replaced her."
"Mate, the first time I talked to her, I said, "Get me the VZ Contact Transfer Ap," and she said, "There is no DZ Transfer Ap.," so I said, "I did NOT say DZ I said VZ!" And she said, "I cannot find a DZ Ap." I tried this maybe five times, with my last I said, "V like in Victor, Z like in Zebra," and she, in a very snide tone said, "I cannot get you a ZEBRA!" I threw down the phone switched on my computer and did it myself! The last time, I said, "Siri?" and nothing. "Siri? Siri? Siri where are you?" finally she answered with, "Nowhere." Really? Nowhere? So I asked her one more time, "Siri where are you?" and she said, "I am where you are!" Like I was stupid or something. That was the last straw Gabe, I couldn't take it anymore, every time I asked her something she had some zinger for me. That's when I sat around wondering what to do when I thought of Wolfie and his Blackberry. He lobbed that thing into the sofa once because of connection problems and said he hated phones. I thought I'd like to lob Siri off the end of a plank into the deep dark sea only I paid too much money for the damn phone! Then it came to me what would Wolfie do, you know how we give each other the WWWD? Yeah, well alas matey, I sat there and envisioned the Wolf and it came to me to chuck Siri's arse overboard and pull in the British guy. I went to my Siri file and removed her so fast I think her head was still spinning and I pulled out Jeeves.
"So how is that working for you?"
"Oh my God mate, it isn't. He's as bad as that mouthy woman! I said to him, "Jeeves my good man get me directions to Portland." AND HE SAID, "I do not understand you." I was beside myself. I tried it with a British accent and that sort of helped, but he said he only understood part of what I asked. I thought OK try something else, so I said, I need to call me first mate, and he said, "I'm sorry to inform you BUT I am very busy right now and cannot fulfil your request. Please give me a "tingle" later." I'd like to give him a tingle! I said, "What the heck are you doing you haven't the time for me?" And he said, "Sorry, I'd like to answer you but am very busy, try again later." I was livid, "YOU JEEVES work for me! What are you doing you are so freaking busy?" And he said, "I can't tell you that at the moment." Arrrrghhh!!!"
"So what are you doing for a phone? I take it you don't use the automated voice service?"
"No mate, I do use it. Anytime I get miffed or have a bad day, I'll call up Jeeves and give him a piece of my mind."
And what happens?
"Well, he either clams up like Siri and shuts himself off, or, and this gets to me, he laughs!"
"He what? He laughs at you?"
"Yeah mate he does, he says nothing or either laughs or shuts himself off where he can't hear me."
My concern is not for the Capt's iPhone but for the Capt's state of mind. Something isn't right on the Capt's ship and I think it's the Capt. But don't tell him I said that.
I think I'll stick with me Smart Phone and leave the talking voices to the Capt (who I think hears voices when they aren't there anyway). ;-)~
Gabe
Copyright © 2012 All rights reserved
