117
R. Linda:
I have Tonya all packed and we are set to start off tomorrow for the Arctic Circle. Yes indeed. However, there is a non-surprise surprise party hosted by none other than the lovely Tinkerbelle tonight. Whoopieee.
There is one saving grace to this, it is being held at a restaurant. BUT the place plays live jazz music and oh my God, did I ever tell you I hate jazz music almost as vehemently as I do country? Well I do! I be unpacking one of Tons camping bags for ear plugs. She said she uses them when she's out camping so she doesn't hear the bears roaming around the campsite. Damn, I'd WANT to hear them so I could get the hell out of there.
Back to the non-surprise. Tink came up here a while ago standing in the open doorway saying nothing as Ton and I were still throwing clothing in boxes. There she was (yes, I could see her out of the corner of me eye), the silent sobbing racking her little Cyndi Lauper body, the coloured hair pointed out like daggers in all directions, and I tried me best to ignore her little act. Ton discovered her and ran over picking up a box of tissues on the way, with "dear, dear, dear," coming out of her mouth until she reached the unfortunate Tink.
I could not believe Tonya fell for that. So in she is shuffled. Tonya with an arm around the sobbing skinny shoulders of the woman who paints faeries for a living, and with me disgustedly throwing things in boxes and moving well away, but no, onward and inward Ton comes and what does she do? You'll love this, she shoves Tink into me clean shirt. Yes she did. I be thinking, oh hells no, not another shirt used as a Kleenex box. But alas, she buried her head in me shirt, while I tried to save me eyes from being poked out by the pointy hair. As I stepped back, she stepped forward. I could have barfed. Tonya was in the background miming I should put me arms around the unfortunate and comfort her. This I did reluctantly as Tony's face broke into a big malicious smile and out she went to "make tea."
There I was trying to shield me eyes from the stabbing hair, Tink in full crying mode into me shirt, hugging me so tight I thought me breath would stop. I tried to gently ease Tink's arms from around me middle, but they wouldn't budge! I put more force into it and the harder I tried to remove the now Tinkerbelle parasite from me upper body, the tighter she squeezed. I felt like a pimple set to burst I did.
Thank the good Lord that Alison was passing by the open doorway, but this was misconstrued as something more than it was. She did a double take as she passed and then back-stepped to stand in the doorway and yelled at me, "Gabriel!"
You'd think it was me idea to be hugging Tinkerbelle the way Alison was looking scandalised at me.
"Get in here," I hissed moving me head to indicate she should come get Tink off me.
She finally did and as soon as she was close she saw it was Tink had me in an anaconda embrace. Alison's eyes opened wide and her mouth formed the perfect O as she realised what she was witnessing. Out of her mouth came and indignant, "OH NO YOU DON'T!"
She pulled Tink from around the waist and I started to push her by the wee shoulders in Alison's direction and neither of us was getting Tink to budge. It was like trying to remove a tick.
Tonya came out with a tray and three teacups. As soon as she saw us she knew what she had sic'ed on me. She put the tray down and came running. By this time Alison had Tink by the ankles and was pulling for all she was worth, but Tink had somehow reached up and had her arms locked around me neck so she was is in the air, the only thing besides her arms touching me, was her nose buried in me shirt. She had taken to shrieking and before long I had Tonya behind me trying to pry Tink's interlaced fingers from around me neck.
Oh, the pushing and the shoving, and the pulling and the pleading, not to mention the CRYING! I thought if they couldn't dislodge her I'd be wearing her like a giant bling necklace.
We struggled for I think what amounted to fifteen minutes until Flanagan appeared upon hearing all the noise on his way in. He popped his head in, took stock of the bizarre scene and said, "I thought you were having an orgy in here Sully."
I muttered something about him being a stupid jerk and when he had fully enjoyed the view up Tink's skirt long enough, he came over with the magic spell that would scrap the Tink off me. He started tickling her and as he tickled harder she let go to fend him off and went straight down, since Alison still held her by her ankles in the air, and she hit her chin on me shoes when she came down.
It was a fine picture if you will R. Linda. There be Tink, head on me shoes, feet in the air as Alison held her still, skirt slowly finding gravity and inching towards her head. I don't normally look at a woman's panties, but I have never in me born days seen white cotton panties with prints of Peter Pan on them. Well, I thought it was Pan, Alison said it was Michael Jackson. Same thing I suppose.
When we all had a good look Alison lowered Tink to the floor. Wrong! Because then Tink went to her knees and grabbed me around the legs. I swear I couldn't believe it! With much of a struggle, Flanagan got her around the waist and took her kicking and flaying the air with her mighty wee fists, out the door and down the stairs, hopefully to the freezer! As soon as he was out, Tonya Slammed the door and locked it, double locked it, triple locked it.
Alison poured the tea and no one said anything. Ton and I are supposed to be the guests of honour at this non-surprise dinner of Tink's in an hour. I really don't want to venture out I might be accosted by the wee faery again, and in a public place. I couldn't bear the shame of it, truly.
Gabe
R. Linda:
I have Tonya all packed and we are set to start off tomorrow for the Arctic Circle. Yes indeed. However, there is a non-surprise surprise party hosted by none other than the lovely Tinkerbelle tonight. Whoopieee.
There is one saving grace to this, it is being held at a restaurant. BUT the place plays live jazz music and oh my God, did I ever tell you I hate jazz music almost as vehemently as I do country? Well I do! I be unpacking one of Tons camping bags for ear plugs. She said she uses them when she's out camping so she doesn't hear the bears roaming around the campsite. Damn, I'd WANT to hear them so I could get the hell out of there.
Back to the non-surprise. Tink came up here a while ago standing in the open doorway saying nothing as Ton and I were still throwing clothing in boxes. There she was (yes, I could see her out of the corner of me eye), the silent sobbing racking her little Cyndi Lauper body, the coloured hair pointed out like daggers in all directions, and I tried me best to ignore her little act. Ton discovered her and ran over picking up a box of tissues on the way, with "dear, dear, dear," coming out of her mouth until she reached the unfortunate Tink.
I could not believe Tonya fell for that. So in she is shuffled. Tonya with an arm around the sobbing skinny shoulders of the woman who paints faeries for a living, and with me disgustedly throwing things in boxes and moving well away, but no, onward and inward Ton comes and what does she do? You'll love this, she shoves Tink into me clean shirt. Yes she did. I be thinking, oh hells no, not another shirt used as a Kleenex box. But alas, she buried her head in me shirt, while I tried to save me eyes from being poked out by the pointy hair. As I stepped back, she stepped forward. I could have barfed. Tonya was in the background miming I should put me arms around the unfortunate and comfort her. This I did reluctantly as Tony's face broke into a big malicious smile and out she went to "make tea."
There I was trying to shield me eyes from the stabbing hair, Tink in full crying mode into me shirt, hugging me so tight I thought me breath would stop. I tried to gently ease Tink's arms from around me middle, but they wouldn't budge! I put more force into it and the harder I tried to remove the now Tinkerbelle parasite from me upper body, the tighter she squeezed. I felt like a pimple set to burst I did.
Thank the good Lord that Alison was passing by the open doorway, but this was misconstrued as something more than it was. She did a double take as she passed and then back-stepped to stand in the doorway and yelled at me, "Gabriel!"
You'd think it was me idea to be hugging Tinkerbelle the way Alison was looking scandalised at me.
"Get in here," I hissed moving me head to indicate she should come get Tink off me.
She finally did and as soon as she was close she saw it was Tink had me in an anaconda embrace. Alison's eyes opened wide and her mouth formed the perfect O as she realised what she was witnessing. Out of her mouth came and indignant, "OH NO YOU DON'T!"
She pulled Tink from around the waist and I started to push her by the wee shoulders in Alison's direction and neither of us was getting Tink to budge. It was like trying to remove a tick.
Tonya came out with a tray and three teacups. As soon as she saw us she knew what she had sic'ed on me. She put the tray down and came running. By this time Alison had Tink by the ankles and was pulling for all she was worth, but Tink had somehow reached up and had her arms locked around me neck so she was is in the air, the only thing besides her arms touching me, was her nose buried in me shirt. She had taken to shrieking and before long I had Tonya behind me trying to pry Tink's interlaced fingers from around me neck.
Oh, the pushing and the shoving, and the pulling and the pleading, not to mention the CRYING! I thought if they couldn't dislodge her I'd be wearing her like a giant bling necklace.
We struggled for I think what amounted to fifteen minutes until Flanagan appeared upon hearing all the noise on his way in. He popped his head in, took stock of the bizarre scene and said, "I thought you were having an orgy in here Sully."
I muttered something about him being a stupid jerk and when he had fully enjoyed the view up Tink's skirt long enough, he came over with the magic spell that would scrap the Tink off me. He started tickling her and as he tickled harder she let go to fend him off and went straight down, since Alison still held her by her ankles in the air, and she hit her chin on me shoes when she came down.
It was a fine picture if you will R. Linda. There be Tink, head on me shoes, feet in the air as Alison held her still, skirt slowly finding gravity and inching towards her head. I don't normally look at a woman's panties, but I have never in me born days seen white cotton panties with prints of Peter Pan on them. Well, I thought it was Pan, Alison said it was Michael Jackson. Same thing I suppose.
When we all had a good look Alison lowered Tink to the floor. Wrong! Because then Tink went to her knees and grabbed me around the legs. I swear I couldn't believe it! With much of a struggle, Flanagan got her around the waist and took her kicking and flaying the air with her mighty wee fists, out the door and down the stairs, hopefully to the freezer! As soon as he was out, Tonya Slammed the door and locked it, double locked it, triple locked it.
Alison poured the tea and no one said anything. Ton and I are supposed to be the guests of honour at this non-surprise dinner of Tink's in an hour. I really don't want to venture out I might be accosted by the wee faery again, and in a public place. I couldn't bear the shame of it, truly.
Gabe
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