05 December 2019
972
R. Linda:
The Dragon lady flew in not long ago and came down with what we call a school cold. You know there be no way to avoid school-age children bringing home germs from another classmate that develop into full-fledged sneezing, coughing, aches, fevers and chills. And that be what happened to the Dragon after three days of living in close proximity to school kids.
She was feeling so bad she said her heart hurt and well to the doctor she went. Me Mam did the driving since both Tonya and I work. Me Mam was not liking she was stuck in her car with the coughing and sneezing Dragon, but she showed her humanity for scaly things and drove the Dragon to the doctors. Once there Dragon asked Mam to accompany her into the room because she did not know the doctor and Mam did. With a heavy sigh of not being able to spend a moment away from the sick Dragon, Mam reluctantly followed her in.
Before this, as they were sitting in the waiting room, me Mam had remarked her heart fluttered and it sort of concerned her. The Dragon took this as a full-on heart attack and told me Mam she should mention this once in the doctor's presence.
Anyway, the doctor checked out the Dragon and told her she was on the downside of the cold and to keep on doing what she was doing and maybe pick up some Mucinex and in a few days the cold would or should subside. This floored me Mam since Dragon listed ailments long enough to fill a six-foot roll of paper. She was sure an electrocardiogram was in store for the old Dragon, but no, no, it was just a common cold and all she was feeling was a result of said cold.
However, not leaving without pointing a finger at me Mam, the Dragon says to doctor, "Well, you should look at HER she has heart fluctuations!"
So who ended up with the electrocardiogram? Me Mam.
"A fine ting it wuz," said she once home, "I do a body a favour and end up the patient! How does that werk I wonder?"
Yes indeed, just how does that happen? Come to find there be nothing wrong with me Mam, but they are checking out her thyroid for good measure to make sure that's not causing her trouble.
In the interim of all THAT going on, it was the eldest's birthday. I was asked to pick up the special birthday cake since I would be in the area. Well, this happened:
It started out as 14" of snow and then the next day we got dumped on again for a total of 29" of the white stuff. Not having a car since mine be dead, Ben offered me his plow truck. Oh yeah, he-man stuff, a big truck with a plow! Having had me car plow for several years, I felt adept at plowing anything, including me driveway, half the street beyond me driveway, and if I had to, I could plow me way to Boston!
While I had been at work we got that extra foot and a half of snow and . . . well the roads weren't exactly great when I crossed off the highway and got onto the back roads of New Hampshire. What to do? Hey, I had a plow on the front of the truck so I plowed me way home! The one car behind me was grateful, the fellow honked and waved in thanks as he turned off and I waved back all pleased with meself. That was until I saw the big plow truck coming in the opposite direction and there I was plowing in mine.
He waved and told me to stop.
"You can't do that buddy. I work for the township and you don't. You aren't allowed to plow town roads, your driveway yes, the town road NO!"
I feigned sorry and pulled the plow up and went on me merry way. Once he was out of me sight, down came the plow and I continued to me abode. I know, I know, bad me.
I did get the special lemon custard, lemon cake, with whipped cream icing and a white chocolate disk that said Happy Birthday! I noticed when I put the cake on the passenger seat that the seat sloped and I did open the box to make sure the cake did not slide. It was all right, so I started home. As I said, I needed to plow meself home. When I got to me driveway I plowed in and then to make the space larger, I backed up and then plowed one side and then the other, not thinking that the hard stopping and braking would affect anything but the snow I was pushing around.
I was thrilled to get inside with the cake (usually I forget to pick up things like that), so feeling proud of meself that the cake mission was accomplished in the heavy snow and that me driveway was plowed, I put the cake on the counter and thought no more about it UNTIL after the birthday dinner Tonya opened the cake box to put the candles on and bring out the luscious confection to the strains of Happy Birthday To You when she stopped and froze. She started at the inside of the cake box and then asked me in a rather annoyed tone, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO O'HARE'S CAKE, GABE?"
What indeed? Well, it seems with me backing up and plowing forward and then back and forward, etc., the cake went back and forward too! Yup, it did. The bottom layer looked like a pouty lip and the second layer was a squished pile of lemon filling and whipped cream piled at the back of the box, while the chocolate disk had slid to the side. Uh huh, I was in huge trouble me friend.
Me Mam took a peek and could not stop laughing much to Tonya's chagrin.
"Here let us slide it forward and see if the top layer will go back over the bottom," I suggested grabbing the box.
Tonya swatted me hands away and mumbled something about the fact I did enough damage.
"Just how did this happen?" She asked hands on hips.
"I dunno must have been from me plowing."
"Uh yeah. You just don't think sometimes." She stated and rightly so, I had forgotten about the cake entirely in me plowing frenzy.
There was no way to get the cake out of the box, so she put the candles on it and lit 14 which were precariously close to the cardboard of the cake box, and lifted it gently as we all sang off-key over to the birthday boy who was thoroughly amused.
"It's still cake." He said and then made his wish and blew out the candles before they could set fire to the cake box.
Cutting the mushy mess was quite the show. Tonya's hands were covered in lemon curd and whipped cream. A few of the candles had slid down the side of the gooey mess and she couldn't get them out without taking part of the cake with her. Me Mam came over with another cake knife and made portions in the cake box and told us to dig in. There was no way of getting the pieces out of the box. Yup, it looked like a bunch of hungry people over a trough.
I tell ya!
Gabe
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved
972
R. Linda:
The Dragon lady flew in not long ago and came down with what we call a school cold. You know there be no way to avoid school-age children bringing home germs from another classmate that develop into full-fledged sneezing, coughing, aches, fevers and chills. And that be what happened to the Dragon after three days of living in close proximity to school kids.
She was feeling so bad she said her heart hurt and well to the doctor she went. Me Mam did the driving since both Tonya and I work. Me Mam was not liking she was stuck in her car with the coughing and sneezing Dragon, but she showed her humanity for scaly things and drove the Dragon to the doctors. Once there Dragon asked Mam to accompany her into the room because she did not know the doctor and Mam did. With a heavy sigh of not being able to spend a moment away from the sick Dragon, Mam reluctantly followed her in.
Before this, as they were sitting in the waiting room, me Mam had remarked her heart fluttered and it sort of concerned her. The Dragon took this as a full-on heart attack and told me Mam she should mention this once in the doctor's presence.
Anyway, the doctor checked out the Dragon and told her she was on the downside of the cold and to keep on doing what she was doing and maybe pick up some Mucinex and in a few days the cold would or should subside. This floored me Mam since Dragon listed ailments long enough to fill a six-foot roll of paper. She was sure an electrocardiogram was in store for the old Dragon, but no, no, it was just a common cold and all she was feeling was a result of said cold.
However, not leaving without pointing a finger at me Mam, the Dragon says to doctor, "Well, you should look at HER she has heart fluctuations!"
So who ended up with the electrocardiogram? Me Mam.
"A fine ting it wuz," said she once home, "I do a body a favour and end up the patient! How does that werk I wonder?"
Yes indeed, just how does that happen? Come to find there be nothing wrong with me Mam, but they are checking out her thyroid for good measure to make sure that's not causing her trouble.
In the interim of all THAT going on, it was the eldest's birthday. I was asked to pick up the special birthday cake since I would be in the area. Well, this happened:
 |
| 29" of powdery snow |
While I had been at work we got that extra foot and a half of snow and . . . well the roads weren't exactly great when I crossed off the highway and got onto the back roads of New Hampshire. What to do? Hey, I had a plow on the front of the truck so I plowed me way home! The one car behind me was grateful, the fellow honked and waved in thanks as he turned off and I waved back all pleased with meself. That was until I saw the big plow truck coming in the opposite direction and there I was plowing in mine.
He waved and told me to stop.
"You can't do that buddy. I work for the township and you don't. You aren't allowed to plow town roads, your driveway yes, the town road NO!"
I feigned sorry and pulled the plow up and went on me merry way. Once he was out of me sight, down came the plow and I continued to me abode. I know, I know, bad me.
I did get the special lemon custard, lemon cake, with whipped cream icing and a white chocolate disk that said Happy Birthday! I noticed when I put the cake on the passenger seat that the seat sloped and I did open the box to make sure the cake did not slide. It was all right, so I started home. As I said, I needed to plow meself home. When I got to me driveway I plowed in and then to make the space larger, I backed up and then plowed one side and then the other, not thinking that the hard stopping and braking would affect anything but the snow I was pushing around.
I was thrilled to get inside with the cake (usually I forget to pick up things like that), so feeling proud of meself that the cake mission was accomplished in the heavy snow and that me driveway was plowed, I put the cake on the counter and thought no more about it UNTIL after the birthday dinner Tonya opened the cake box to put the candles on and bring out the luscious confection to the strains of Happy Birthday To You when she stopped and froze. She started at the inside of the cake box and then asked me in a rather annoyed tone, "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO O'HARE'S CAKE, GABE?"
What indeed? Well, it seems with me backing up and plowing forward and then back and forward, etc., the cake went back and forward too! Yup, it did. The bottom layer looked like a pouty lip and the second layer was a squished pile of lemon filling and whipped cream piled at the back of the box, while the chocolate disk had slid to the side. Uh huh, I was in huge trouble me friend.
Me Mam took a peek and could not stop laughing much to Tonya's chagrin.
"Here let us slide it forward and see if the top layer will go back over the bottom," I suggested grabbing the box.
Tonya swatted me hands away and mumbled something about the fact I did enough damage.
"Just how did this happen?" She asked hands on hips.
"I dunno must have been from me plowing."
"Uh yeah. You just don't think sometimes." She stated and rightly so, I had forgotten about the cake entirely in me plowing frenzy.
There was no way to get the cake out of the box, so she put the candles on it and lit 14 which were precariously close to the cardboard of the cake box, and lifted it gently as we all sang off-key over to the birthday boy who was thoroughly amused.
"It's still cake." He said and then made his wish and blew out the candles before they could set fire to the cake box.
Cutting the mushy mess was quite the show. Tonya's hands were covered in lemon curd and whipped cream. A few of the candles had slid down the side of the gooey mess and she couldn't get them out without taking part of the cake with her. Me Mam came over with another cake knife and made portions in the cake box and told us to dig in. There was no way of getting the pieces out of the box. Yup, it looked like a bunch of hungry people over a trough.
I tell ya!
Gabe
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved
8 comments:
I'm STILL laughing! The doctor fiasco and the cake mess will have me going for days! The plow crazy Irishman is pretty much expected.
Where is everyone on holiday?
You know I can’t pass up plowing.
Out drinking? LMAO
Probably I wouldn’t put it past them.
In Ireland it is called the 12 pubs of Christmas, LOL. What is a car plow? Contrary to your thinking, I have been busy Christmas shopping and making plans for the holidays, but I am glad you left me a funny story. I enjoyed it along with my spiced wassail, mulled wine, and beer.
Oh funny guy. A car plow . . . you will have to thumb through old blog stories to find out and there are pictures. Nice to know you're enjoying the Christmas season.
Ah, you caught the dragon's cold you did, feel better. We got that same snow storm, and for your information, I have not been boozing it up, but digging out of my house. I didn't get as creative as you with a car plow, I instead bought a farm snow blower for the tractor. Now I have snow dunes the size of Mt. Katahdin; that should make you happy.
I can always tell what story you read first, LMAO. As for that new plow, I'll be right up!
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