27 August, 2016

Of Birthdays, Grandpas, CNN, & Weasil Email One Liners

823
27 August 2016

R. Linda:

We went to a birthday party yesterday. The couple's twin sons were turning 3 and they, being friends of our youngest, we were invited to the festivities. Now living with the couple is the wife's parents. The father is fifteen years older than his wife and is up in age. He is hard of hearing and one must repeat several times what one is trying to convey. He refuses to wear a hearing aid, so having a conversation of pleasantries can become quite a bit frustrating to say the least. He also disappears into his room to read without a bye your bye and then reappears as if he never left. His young "chicken" as he calls his wife Margaret, waits on him hand and foot she does. She is ever devoted and he is a lucky man to have her.

There were the family and four groups of friends who had young 3 year olds besides ourselves, and a few teenagers, so at times it was chaotic with so many young children screaming and scampering about the place. Sometimes we had to shout to be heard and this shouting at our young ones to tone it down got rather sketchy when the old man would think we were shouting at him.

"Be quiet? I never said a word, what do you mean be quiet? Do I know you?" He'd point at one of us and we'd smile and gently shout we weren't addressing him but that rather rowdy 3 year old over there banging on the table with a heavy toy making lots of dings in the wood.

Well, we finally got to the cake. It was a delightful affair decked out in rainbow coloured sprinkles with a monkey (Curious George?) on the side and banana decorations strewn here and there.

Back of Monkey Cake

Monkey Cake




















It was as we were all taking our first mouthful of cake that Gramps came out of his room. He saw his wife at table and said, "Margaret I needs changing."

Well, it wasn't hard to figure changing of what. And off they went. I tell ya it wasn't made better when  one of the teenagers said to another that the monkey's head looked like a lump of Gramp's s--t. This got the older kids into hysterical laughter, while we adults tried to ignore it all. I don't know how we all made it through cake but the kiddies (all of them), went outside with the teens for a wet game of Super Soaker.

Somehow us older kids got into a conversation on the presidential race.

"Is Trump looking to lose?" Our host asked. "Everyday he comes out with some outlandish statement that makes his poll numbers go down and it happens so often, I have to wonder if he knows he can't win, so he just says what he feels like because he knows he will lose."

This began a discussion on Trumps ego and what choice did we all have? It will be Hillary or the Green Party and if all else fails, a move to Canada.

I did not know my 10 year old had come in from the super soaking to dry off and heard the adults discussion. He stepped up and announced that if Trump wins, he is applying for citizenship to Norway. I had no clue he felt so strongly about the election.

Meanwhile, Mildred, one of the parents of a precocious three year old said to Allison, the mother of another one, that she really needed to go on a diet, but couldn't stop stress eating each time CNN came on.

I joined in because I too, have that tendency and told the ladies my stress food of choice was ice cream, and that CNN has a tendency like no other news programme for me to run for the cold stuff or worse the chips AND the cold stuff.

"Oh yeah me too!" Allison said shovelling a piece of birthday cake in her mouth. "I get particularly in need of gelato when CNN has the presidential race coverage. I can't wait for it all to be over so I can go on a diet and move to Canada."

Of course we chuckled and Allison being overheard there was laughter behind us. More adults joined in and I was reminded of Weasil's new emails. First it was the "We're all gonna die" emails he's fire at me at each presidential candidate mention (see Weasil's Email Terrors - 28 May 2016).  Now, he's moved on to terrorism and natural disasters. I got an email that said, "Well Gabbie, dere goes me trip to Paris!" followed by "Jeez Gabbie, dere goes me trip to Turkey!" followed by "Holy Moly Gabbie, dere goes me trip to Belgium!" and then, "Jeezums! Dere goes me trip to Italy!"

Though I will say he had a few zingers for Rio as well, "Wots dis bollocks I should stay home from Brazil because I might get me some Zika? Wots Zika? Or, who be Zika?" Then there was, "Wots da worldie comin' to when yer can't use a petrol station rest room in Rio wit out bein' held ee-uppie?" and finally, "I boughtie Amanda a burkini fer our visit ta da French Rivera and now she can't wear it? Is she to go au naturale?" This last stymied me because neither is Muslem. I asked him what was with the burkini and he said he thought it was the latest in old fashioned bathing attire spurred on by the fashions of Downton Abbey. I tell ya! Then he said he doesn't get the problem because it covers everything up so was the French Rivera full of perverts? I decided to end the conversation there as it was getting way out of hand. But the Weasil wasn't leaving off he wrote, "Wot happened to no touching without dinner and a movie first?" I foolishly wrote back that France was a very liberal nation and that it takes a lot of my energy to talk to him so I was done with the subject. He wrote back three words: "Liberte', egalite, Beyonce!"

So that's been me life of late. Yes indeed. When I am not sending you questionable works of art and leprechauns strapped to electric chairs, I be bedevilled by the rest of the world around me.

Gabe
Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved

21 comments:

  1. Lmao such a hard life eating cake and ice cream! As for scampering ? 2 or more 3year olds in the same room is my vision of HELL! Quot is not in their vocabulary. As for Mr W, gee what a hard life he leads. NOT

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr. W is in a world of his own - I tell ya!

      Delete
    2. I was going for the world quiet. 3 year olds have no volume control

      Delete
  2. Oh sorry, the painting is hanging and skully is sitting on the mantel

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No closet, and I flip the switch every time I walk by!

      Delete
    2. Ouch! That poor old guy there isn't much of him left but he does seem to like the shock.

      Delete
  3. what fun right? lol kid parties always fun NOT. ok you two have something going on spill in the comment box spill.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll let the muse explain that but only if she wants too.

      Delete
  4. LMAO explain what? Skully? If you mean skully, he's a tabletop skeleton sitting in an electric chair waiting for someone to hit the switch. Over all these years Gabe has sent me exotic Halloween birthday prezzies. Skulls, witches, pog head...

    ReplyDelete
  5. LMAO pig pog hog , I'm totally going either blind or stupid. Did I type blind or blond?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Did I forget to mention candy? CHOCCIE CANDY?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Gabe, You realise your most popular stories feature food? I too, get odd email occasionally from the Weasil. Only I don't open it, LOL. I rather am intrigued with 'Skully" have no clue exactly, but intrigued all the same. How's that duck collection going Mobit? Oh and Gabe, super soakers, amazing fun when it's the back of Weasil's head gets the soaking. Something to keep in mind next visit. :)~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I did not know that thanks for pointing that out. The food I mean. As to super soakers GREAT idea!

      Delete
    2. I had to take the ducks off my car to sell it BUT I'm still collecting ducks. Also skulls of all sizes and materials. Gabe knows I'm strange.

      Delete
  8. If you decide to use super soakes, would you consider using blue or purple food dye? He'd make a great smurf

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would if the Weasil wasn't such a natty dresser.

      Delete
  9. Is there a way to post my beautiful dark painting in the comments? Hanging painting!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is already featured in a prior story and beautiful be not the word for it LOL

      Delete

ONLY COMMENTS PERTAINING TO THE BLOG WILL BE PUBLISHED. ALL COMMENTS WITH ADVERTISEMENT ATTACHMENTS WILL BE DELETED AND IGNORED.