28 June, 2016

Stomach churning daydream of a conversation with Trump, Farage, and wondering about Jon Snow's birthright

28 June 2016

R. Linda:

It was one of those misty rainy days and of course it was me day off, so the weather was not so nice. I sat at me kitchen window with a cuppa tea daydreaming, or more accurately letting the cares of the media get to me.

In a haze of blurry eyed squinting out the misty window, me stomach churning with angst, I imagined meself sitting in a tent waiting for Trump to give me a five minute interview. When he appeared I was startled by the orange spray tan and large white patches under the eyes where the protective goggles must have rested. He's a big man almost hulking but I compare everyone to me tall skinny self. Well, he sat down opposite me with a handshake, and since I had only five minutes I jumped right in by asking about that wall he proposes to build. I figured you'd want to know if your relatives could climb it or not. So I jumped in with me question of how high a wall it would be.

"Gabriel, it will be a big wall, very big wall, so high and so well built no one will be able to get over it."

"Yes, and you are going to have Mexico pay for it by cutting off aid to them. But it will cost the U.S. taxpayer to build it . . . " I started but he cut me off.

"Gabriel, I assure you Mexico will foot the bill and that wall will be built of the best materials, and we WILL get paid for it. It will be a big wall Gabriel, really big wait and see." He said sitting back, that lower lip thrust out in challenge.

"What about this ugly wife situation, you said you are sorry you said anything about Ted Cruz's wife?" I figured I would throw that in, because Tonya had a problem with it and so for the wife I asked.

"I didn't start it Gabriel. Lyin' Ted has been underhanded in many of his dealings and not just with me, but Ben Carson. You remember what he did to Ben -- a nice man by the way, very nice man -- and then he tried to take votes from me and makes comments . . . you don't mess with me, if you do I punch back twice as hard."

We both got up me five minutes over. I got nothing I tell ya R. Linda, notta, zip, nothin'! So I don't know how long a ladder or ropes your relatives will need to climb that infernal wall Trump be determined to build. I tried, I did but the man be a piece of work.

His spray tanned self The Donald
So when Brexit happened the other day, I could hear the Wolf howling from across the pond in Northern Ireland and the Weasil, had telephoned to ask me if I wanted to buy a castle "cheap." I fired off an email to the Wolf and he said he had voted against Britain's exit from the European Union. He was not liking where his savings was going, for that matter he didn't like where Nigel Farage was going and would like to help him perhaps take a fiery duck boat down the Thames (see Where is Captain Jaack when you need him? 29 September 2013). That set me to thinking of Nige.

Nigel (Courtesy International Business times)
This led me to a phone conversation with good old Nige, you remember Nigel Farage, all around know-it-all, full of himself, bombastic Leave Leader, enemy of all Scots (see Mr. Farage Visits Edinburgh -- and a memorable time it was! - 30 May 2013)? First thing I said, was "Hey way to go Nigel! You really fecked it up this time." But Nigel wasn't buying it, he was still basking in his success that he hoodwinked an entire Unitied Kingdom. I was reminded of Donald Trump just listening to Nigel's excuses why the other side lost. I booed him over the phone, and he said, "You are in denial Gabriel. Denial!"

I shot back that his Nazi propaganda was putting us back in the dark ages, that he was a liar like Trump and now that the pound be devalued . . . but that be as far as I got.

He threw at me that the people in the Remain camp were not informed by their leaders, that he never said funding for health care would continue as before, or any funding for anything etc., and I realised I was getting upset so I interrupted him and said, "I agree with Guy Verhofstadt (former Prime Minister of Belgium) that the UK is going to get rid of the biggest waste in the EU budget, which has been paid for 17 years, YOUR SALARY!" Yeah how do like them apples Nigel?

There was a click and the connection was gone. He hung up on me the twit.

I consoled meself by watching Game of Thrones, thinking to get me mind off what the western world be coming to which to me thinking be shite in a handbag, so there I was staring mindlessly at Jon Snow the Targaryan dressed in Wolf (Stark) clothing, wondering how that bit of news will hit the roughed Mr. Snow when he finds out who he really is. More so, what lady would make a good wife and all I could come up with was Brienne of Tarth! That is if the Hound doesn't chop her in two. But then I thought Ayra Stark would make that not happen, possibly. Or, maybe Deanery's might take exception to Snow's claim to the iron throne and well . . . what could she do, if he's a Targaryan that means he's immune to fire and he can ride dragons. Hum dilemma for sure! I be not knocking me brain on any of these three subjects. Instead I be over in me wife's camp wondering if James Taylor of the Bachelorette is the son of Douglas Henshall of Shetland.

Jon Snow - WHAT? ME ride a DRAGON?
James Taylor from the Bachelorette
Doug Henshall

What is the world coming to I ask ya.

Copyright © 2016 All rights reserved


  1. Nigel F has proven he is Snape's replacement for Slytherin without the heart and underlying intelligence that character displayed in the end. Instead, Nigel has led his sheep to wreck the UK economy with his need for self aggrandisement and control. He had the nerve to appear his smugarse self at the Parliament opening session applauding himself! As for Trump, the man has no character, soul, or kindness in his heart. Elect him and ruin your own economy. As to Snow, riding a Dragon with Deanery's would be any man's ultimate dream. Go for it!

    1. Not a little bit angry are ya?

    2. Absolutely right Trump has no heart. Would be a woman's dream too to ride a dragon with Snow. Beautiful face

    3. Beautiful face LMAO have you not seen pictures of Mr Snow without all that hair and beard? Not attractive.

  2. Could you find anymore flattering pictures, LMAO! Trump and is trumpy wife, sorry trophy wife, and then Nigel and his frumpy wife, sorry dumpy wife, at a dinner party together would be so fecking annoying. You should write about that nightmare the next time you eat something that doesn't agree with you. As for Brexit, worse decision ever! And the 'Leaves' wanting a revote look like a bunch of fools, not that they didn't before. Good luck with that.

  3. LMAO E.u. part of the story can stay there. Trump, the misogynist, will hav my people building the wall because they work harder and on the cheap. As for crossing, ? Look for a hidde door! I just want to know why he hates women who don't look like his wife.

    1. I think Megyn Kelly is better looking than Trump's wife. He has problems with women period! Actually he has problems with everyone but himself.

  4. Interesting how the villains are real and the good guys are tv characters.