17 April, 2015

Don't order the whole milk unless you want to be driven to distraction

17 April 2015
767

R. Linda:

What is it? The day is gloomy with soft rain and everyone gets grouchy? Or, is it me, feeling good, happy outlook on the world, and just too happy for people around me? I don't get it. Just because it is rainy, overcast and generally soggy, is that an excuse to take it out on moi?

I came down to me family and everyone was bustling around. The kiddos were getting their snacks for school, Tonya was feeding the wee one, and Mam was cooking eggs, bacon and making toast. The Dragon was holding her head as if she had toothache (her regular posture at breakfast), half awake looking at her coffee as if reading tea leaves, and there was I, happy to be alive and looking forward to me brekkie and ready to go off for a lovely day of work in Boston.

So I ask you, just because I was happy to be alive, is that any reason the gloomy among us must pick on me?

As soon as I sat down, the Dragon moaned because me knee hit her in her rather large thigh and it was a gentle rub not a whack, so why she gave me that dirty look and mumbled I should be more mindful of me elders, I haven't a clue. You'd think with the amount of meat on that thigh she'd feel nothing as I gently slid onto the stool next to her. Gees the woman!

Then Mam turned from piling the bacon on a tray when the dog did a speedy clamp of teeth and steal of a piece hanging off the edge of the tray, and swish she was gone, me mam hollering after her that she would beat the dog's rump she does that again and then she turned to me and hollered at me for not watching the dog. I was like what? I did not know it was me job to be on dog duty.

"Why don't you feed the dog and the cat, Gabe?" Me wife asked in an annoyed voice.

I got off me rumpus and fed both animals, even got the fresh water in their bowls and then gently and making sure not to touch the Dragon, I sat back down to sip the coffee me wife slammed down in front of me. You'd think she'd be grateful I did her job and fed the animals. But nooo!

Somehow I got through breakfast and out the door and since I did not want to be in a houseful of grumpy people, I decided to get me second cup of joe at Dunken Donuts. Big mistake. I had me wee son strapped in the back car seat (since I was talked into dropping him off at daycare because Tonya was running late, which is fine if your name is Tonya, but if it's Gabe and you are running late it doesn't matter for some unknown reason). So there I was pulling in and I ordered me a large black coffee and whole milk for the wee laddie to keep him occupied and not falling to sleep.

So I pull up and this old hen says, "White milk or chocolate milk?"

"Whole milk," says I with a smile at her grumpy face.

"White or chocolate?" She near takes me head off.

"Whole milk." Says I.

"White or CHOCOLATE!" She loses it and shouts.

"WHITE," I shouted back followed by, "duh!"

I sat there mumbling I didn't know whole milk and chocolate were the same. It just seemed dumb, I said whole milk so naturally I assumed white milk, not chocolate. If I had said CHOCOLATE then chocolate! I was befuddled with this I was.

The woman shoved the whole WHITE milk at me and I pay her and she shoves the change at me, nearly making me drop it and the WHOLE WHITE MILK.

"Jayus," I say shaking me head at her.

She stood there looking mean and I noticed I was not being served me cup of joe so I remind her by saying, "And the coffee?"

She reluctantly gets the cup and hands it off to me and I grab hold and instantly the hot stuff is flowing under the top (which she I believe on purpose didn't press down) and there I am in me suit getting coffee stains all over me AND burning me manly unit to boot! I looked at her aghast.

"Move it along." She says with a snarl.

I quickly got the hot coffee in me cup holder to keep from further spillage and burnt skin. I did move it along because I was miffed at being treated like a criminal for not knowing that whole milk came in chocolate which I didn't ask for. I mean really, if I wanted chocolate milk, I, like anyone else would have said, one chocolate milk please, but if I say one whole milk, don't you think I'd get the white milk? Apparently not!

I was going to pull around and go inside and have it out with her and her manager if there was one. But then I remembered I had the wee one in the backseat and was already late for work. Gees! I tell ya.

Hopefully, the rest of me day won't be this ugly. I can hope anyway.

Gabe
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4 comments:

mobit22 said...

I'm sick again so guess what? I'M GRUMPY!

Fionnula said...

you deserve the hot coffee on the manly unit as you put it for saying you did your wife's job of getting the dogs water!

Gabriel O'Sullivan said...

Grumpy you!

Dew said...

With all the goings on you were running late after all lol